Invitations 

 

Wedding invitations are always addressed to both members of a married couple.  Wedding invitations sent to an unmarried couple who reside at the same address should be addressed with each name appearing on a separate line.

No abbreviations or initials are used when addressing wedding invitations.

 

If children are not receiving separate wedding invitations, their names may be written on a line below their parents' name on the inner envelope. If no inner envelope is used, their names must be written on the outer envelope.

 

Finalize your wedding guest list to determine how many wedding invitations you need to order. You need one wedding invitation for each couple, each single guest, and if possible, each child age thirteen or older. Include wedding invitations to the officiant, the parents of the bride and groom, and the attendants. Don't forget to put their names on your guest list as well so they get included in any head counts as well.

 

Order at least a dozen extra wedding invitations and at least 25 extra envelopes.  The extra wedding invitations are for keepsakes and to be sent to forgotten guests. The extra envelopes are to allow for addressing mistakes.

 

Formal, third-person wedding invitations are traditionally inserted into two envelopes, an inner envelope and an outer envelope. The outer envelope carries the return address (printed) and the recipient's name and address (hand written or calligraphed). The inner envelope is left unsealed and bears only the names of the people invited. An inner envelope is unnecessary for an informal wedding. Carefully consider where you want your RSVP's sent, as responses and gifts are often sent to the return address on the outer envelope.

 

Don't forget to allow plenty of time to address, assemble and mail your wedding invitations.

 

Back to top

 

Wedding Party/Shower Planning

 

Friends of the bride and/or groom may host a wedding party/shower. It's fine to have a group host the wedding party, which makes it easier to share expenses and organizational tasks. 

 

Bridesmaids do not have to host a wedding party/shower for the bride, although they may if they wish.

 

The host(s) pay for the wedding party/shower expenses. 

 

Two to three months ahead: Pick the venue for the wedding party and reserve it if necessary; decide on a theme; agree on a budget; and assign tasks if you are sharing the wedding party hosting. A wedding party/shower is usually held anywhere from two to three months to two to three weeks before the wedding.

 

Any wedding party/shower associated with a wedding should be an intimate gathering of close friends or relatives. Anyone invited to a wedding party/shower (office parties/showers excepted) should be on the wedding guest list as well.  While the hosts determine the size of the guest list, it is not the idea to duplicate the wedding guest list.

 

Invitations should be mailed four to five weeks prior to the event. This gives everyone time to make travel arrangements or request time off from work if necessary. 

 

Who is hosting, when and where, who is being honored and RSVP information should all be included in the wedding party invitations. Additionally, if there is a theme or special instructions, include that info as well.

 

Back to top

 

Bridal Luncheon

 

This is a great wedding party to have a day or two before the wedding, or even the morning of the wedding itself. The wedding party can be a trip to the salon or a visit from a makeup artist and/or hairdresser. Traditionally, it is a luncheon, brunch or afternoon tea. A cocktail party or dinner is equally as nice, either at someone's home or a restaurant. 

 

This is the perfect opportunity for the bride to exchange any gifts with her attendants.

 

The bride's attendants usually host this wedding party with the maid/matron of honor doing the organization. In come areas, the bride and her mother, or a close friend or relative of the bride and her mother, may host the wedding party as a thank you to the bridesmaids for their hard work and many contributions. It is a nice gesture of appreciation.

 

The bride, her maid/matron of honor, all her bridesmaids, the flower girl and her mother, the bride's mother and the groom's mother should all be invited to this wedding party. It is also nice to include any sisters of the bride/groom and grandmothers.

 

Back to top

 

Wedding Party/Bridal Shower Do's & Don'ts

 

Do send thank you notes to all wedding party guests - even if you thanked them in person. 

 

Don't forget to send a thank you note to those who couldn't attend the wedding party, but provided a gift

 

Do not ask wedding party guests to address their own thank you notes.

 

Do send a thank you note and a gift to anyone who hosts a wedding party for you.

 

Don't coerce anyone (especially bridesmaids) to host a wedding party. It's a financial burden that many aren't able to take on.

 

Do include gift registry information on a separate sheet in the envelope but not on the wedding party invitation itself. The theme may be noted on the wedding party invitations, but color preferences or sizes should be noted on a separate insert.

 

Don't invite anyone to a wedding party who will not be invited to the wedding. The only exception is a workplace event to which a large number of coworkers will contribute. If an office involves only a few coworkers, a thoughtful couple will include them in the wedding guest list.

 

 Back to top

 

Rehearsal Dinner

 

It is customary but not obligatory for the groom's family to host the rehearsal dinner. It may take any form of a formal or informal event; from a sit down dinner or a buffet to a beach party or picnic. The only guideline is that he rehearsal dinner should not be more formal than the wedding.

 

The rehearsal dinner is held immediately after the rehearsal.

 

The rehearsal dinner is the perfect occasion for the presentation of the couple's gifts to the attendants if they haven't already arranged to do so.

 

The following people should all be invited to the rehearsal dinner: members of the wedding party; the officiant; the parents, grandparents and step parents or grandparents of the bride and groom; siblings of the bride and groom, the wedding party's husbands, wives, fiancées and live in companions but not random dates; children of the bride and groom from any previous relationships.  After that, any number of people may be invited at the host's discretion.

 

Toasts are made toward the end of the rehearsal dinner and are traditionally made in this order: host/hostess - welcoming guests; brides father; attendants; anyone else; bride and groom.

 

Back to top

 

The Bachelor/Bachelorette Party

 

Today's bachelor/bachelorette parties are more low-key and creative, the guests are good friends and the atmosphere is relaxed. The wedding party is usually arranged by the best man/maid or matron of honor in consultation with the other wedding party members. Since they are responsible for financing this party, it should be kept within means for everyone involved. 

 

Any additional guests who are good friends and also invited to the wedding as well as any brother and sisters of the bride and groom and sometimes even the fathers can also be invited.

 

If alcohol is served, a designated driver should be appointed, or arrangements made to get everyone home safely.

 

The entertainment or theme should be planned with the bride and groom in mind. Whatever is planned should not embarrass, humiliate or endanger the honoree or any of the guests.

 

Try to plan the wedding party at least a week before the wedding ceremony so all have a chance to fully recover from a late night.

 

The wedding party may be a simple gathering of friends over beer and barbecue; a night at a restaurant, or an intimate dinner; a day on a boat, or at the beach; a day on the golf course; or even a day in the salon or spa.

Aside from toasting the other party, it is the same as any other gathering of good friends.

 

 Back to top

 

Who pays for what?